Realistic Morning Routine.

Graduate school was the first time since my early high school years that I spent time getting ready in the morning. In high school, I cared a lot about my appearance, but often I was rushing to get ready. I would finish straightening my hair in the cheer lockerroom, rush to class when the bell rang, and then sneak out of the classroom to finish my makeup in the bathroom.

I still cared about my looks in college, but for some reason, when attending an SEC school, the look was truly to roll out of bed, put your hair in a messy bun, and wear a t-shirt so oversized it looked like you didn’t have on pants. (Do any other millennials in the South relate?)

I was the youngest person in my graduate school cohort, and the thirty-year-old Ph.D. students were not wearing fraternity shirts and chaos, so I started taking my time to present myself more seriously. This was the first time I developed a true morning routine.

However, when I started teaching high school, the rural school I worked at was a 45-minute drive from my house, and I had to be there at 7:30 — so my morning routine fell to the wayside.

I would shower, throw on clothes, grab a bagel to eat in the car, and let my hair air dry. I had to dress business casual, so my outfits looked like shit (or at least they were nothing close to an expression of my own personal style and self-expression).

After switching to a new high school after the COVID restrictions lifted and realizing how depressed and anxious I was, I began to recreate a morning routine.

This has now been in the works for three years and is something I cherish more than a glass of wine at the end of the evening. Trust me — if you have a strong morning routine, you will not need nor want that glass of wine at the end of the day (unless you made homemade pasta and pesto… in that case, it is needed).

This post is not meant to tell you how to “easily wake up at 5:00 a.m.” because waking up at 5:00 a.m. is neither easy nor will it ever be.

That said, my morning routine as part of my self-care has truly changed my life, and I wouldn’t sacrifice that time for anything else (except baby Ayla). But it was a long time in the making. Although baby Ayla will always come first, the routine I have created for myself is so sustainable that it allows me enough flexibility to stay with it despite the curveballs thrown my way as a teacher, a wife, and a mom.

I read a quote on Instagram the other day that I know most of us can admit is true, even if we don’t want to: “You can either commit to a life of regret or discipline. Both are hard.”

For me, the regret of not spending my time wisely and choosing unhealthy habits over the discipline of creating was much more painful.

One of the most important aspects of my morning routine is flexibility.

My teaching career has taught me what I value so much in my personal life, and now, as a mom, I expect the unexpected. I’ve learned that the best way to stick to commitments is to make them work no matter the circumstances.

I like to live by the quote, “Nature never rushes, and still everything gets done.” For a long time, this felt counterintuitive, but now it feels second nature. I don’t rush.

I find the time. I make it work. I don’t rush. Mostly, everything gets done — at least the most important things do: taking care of myself and my family.

STEP 1:
I wake up and drink 32 oz of water first thing every morning. I use a mason jar with a lid and a straw, and I don’t allow myself to drink coffee until I finish it.

I started doing this during the pandemic because the first time I had COVID-19, I lost so much hair. My husband Nic told me his friend at work, Brittney, was drinking collagen in her coffee to help her hair get thicker. So I started putting collagen in my water and drinking 32 oz in the morning before doing anything else.

Now, in addition to collagen, I also add electrolytes to my water most mornings.

STEP 2:
I take my probiotic before eating. I had terrible stomach aches as a little girl that carried into adulthood, and taking a probiotic before eating has been a game changer for my digestion. It’s an integral part of my morning ritual.

STEP 3:
I make and sit down to eat a healthy breakfast without the TV on or looking at my phone (unless I’m taking a picture of it). I practice gratitude here by saying thank you and feeling lucky to have the time to make and eat something nourishing.

STEP 4:
I take my medication and supplements. Why am I taking so many? Like a little science experiment, I could make a list and tell you who told me about each one and why I started taking it.

STEP 5:
I always get ready. When I look like shit, I feel like shit. And when I feel like shit but look good, I feel better. Even if I just curl my hair, put on a cute pair of leggings, and swipe on mascara, I feel better than if I didn’t. I think it’s the same psychology that says if you smile, you feel happier.

STEP 6:
Pouring myself a cup of hot coffee in the winter or a mason jar full of cold brew with a metal straw in the summer makes me feel cute and a little more focused before sitting in stillness for my 20-minute meditation.

STEP 7:
Everything leads to this. No matter whether I skip all or some of the steps above, I will always find the time and space for meditation — hell or high water. This often happens outside. If it’s not too hot or too cold, I sometimes meditate in my car before going in to teach or in my daughter’s nursery after she and my husband have left.

After navigating the turmoil that was the first third of my life, it is more important to me than ever to meditate daily. That stillness — that ability to be quiet with myself — is something I hope to never take for granted again.

I don’t recommend adapting my morning routine.

Instead, I recommend sitting down with a piece of paper and a pen and asking yourself, “What kind of self-care routine will serve me best in my life right now?”

Start small. Pick three self-care habits you can commit to at any time of day.

For me, not taking care of myself meant avoiding parts of myself I was neglecting and didn’t want to face. The year I started by simply drinking 32 oz of water was the first step in building a sustainable routine, cultivating a deeper connection, and truly caring for myself.

My morning routine is now a time to celebrate and care for all parts of myself. I understand now that the neglected parts were the parts that needed — and still need — the most care.

Start small. Take care.

Let me know if you have any questions. You can reach me by email or leave a message in the comment box below.

More soon,
AJ